"I was a stranger and you welcomed me"

“For I was hungry and you gave me food,

I was thirsty and you gave me drink,

I was a stranger and you made me welcome."

Matthew 25:35

Readers may know that I recently moved from a single-parish rural town and now live almost equidistant from 3 Catholic churches in Edmonton: all in the Arch-Diocese of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

I have not yet officially joined a parish but am surprised to be leaning towards the smallest, oldest, and the most conservative-looking parish of the three. One main factor has tipped the scale: that parish makes me feel welcome!

Catholic hospitality

Lil (RIP)

I will always be grateful to Lil & Bernie in my old parish…a very, very long time ago! They took our family under their wing to make us part of their family, while also making us part of the church family!

In general, I think it is fair to say that in comparison to some of our protestant brothers and sisters, Catholics are not known for being very welcoming to strangers. Our Evangelical brethren seem to pounce on every “blow-in” in the hopes of nabbing a new parishioner.

Hospitality did improve in the Church with the advent of a Greeting Ministry — but COVID killed that: dead!

First, the churches closed for weeks on end. Then, only limited attendance was allowed. WITH masking and alcohol rub and distancing and pew cleaning and no touching and often with that came no talking. (…why no talking??) Public Health also mandated the isolation of non-mask wearing anti-Vaxxers. Is it any wonder that many people just stopped attending church?

The Sign of Peace

Here is an example which registered with me:

This Saturday, I went to the evening Mass at one of the three nearby parishes. There were 7 non-masked adults within reach. Though offered, only ONE shook my hand at the Sign of Peace (and that one was done somewhat…gingerly!)

Today, I went to Sunday morning Mass in a second parish. There were 6 non-masked adults within reach. When offered, 4 readily shook my hand! (Both groups had similar age ranges and socioeconomic status though there are probably more immigrants in the second parish.)

There are other signs. When entering this church there are some nods and waves from people I may have seen only once before — and never met! Within ~2 weeks of the occasional weekday Mass, I am obviously expected to join in with the Rosary. One day I was substituted for the (chesty) reader, even though a ‘regular’ was available. What’s not to like?!

The editor of CA tells me that 80-90% of Catholics in Ireland are back to shaking hands during the Sign of Peace. Good Job, Ireland!

Welcoming

We never know when a kind word might count in someone’s life.

If you do not know what to say, just say “Hello” with a smile! If you can, engage a newcomer in conversation or direct them towards a ministry / contact person. (Perhaps they sang well and should join the choir, or they have young children so point them to the youth coordinator. Whatever!) It may be as simple as showing them the right hymn book to use!

Archdiocese of Edmonton

The current guidance on the Sign of Peace on the AD of Edmonton’s website is from their COVID guidelines, patently edited last in 2022 when the Mass dispensation was lifted. (Perfectly human!)

Taken from AD of Edmonton website August 2024 (but clearly posted mid-2022.)

(I messaged the Archdiocese about the status of the non-contact Sign of Peace recommendation and will append the response when available.)

Psychology

“In order to display a friendly, nonthreatening intent, animals often evolve a display that is the joint-for-joint, muscle-for-muscle opposite of their display for aggression. So a friendly dog assumes the opposite posture from an aggressive dog: instead of a rigid tail and body with the head poised forward as if to attack, it will crouch, look upward, and wag its tail,” Pinker wrote in an email. “In the case of humans, too, friendly displays tend to be the antithesis of threatening ones: our hands are open rather than clenched, our arms are supinated, we approach the other person closely rather than keeping the wary distance of two fighters, and we expose vulnerable body parts like our lips and neck.”

The famous “Fist Bump” is partly aggressive and that “elbow bump” was just bloody stupid (was awkward and caused closer contact.)

Public Health

Dr. Hanage from Harvard had a sensible approach to hand-shaking at the height of COVID:

Some are still at risk from respiratory infections such as COVID, colds, RSV or influenza. So, if you have a cough or cold, please do NOT shake hands and perhaps don’t even go to Church!

Wearing a mask may not be very helpful itself, but it can signal that you may need to distance and not shake hands. If you do shake hands, wash or alcohol-rub before touching your face.

Disclaimer: This is NOT specific public health advice!

Check current recommendations from your local Medical Officer of Health and

CDC’s generic precautions of what to do when sick.

The Church Family

Shaking hands during the Sign of Peace tells your neighbour that we are all part of the church family. It is one small step to making the stranger feel welcome.

Kevin Hay
You can follow Kevin on 𝕏 ( Twitter / Twi𝕏 ) @ kevinhay77